A preface based on a moving story

Eternal Beauty

A preface based on a moving story

A topic entitled, ‘Eternal Beauty’ as the preface to a popularized scientific work, ‘A Second Chance: Approaching Cancer Through Chinese Medicine’ might seem somewhat incongruous, yet I believe that if you finish reading the story below, you may also feel how appropriate it is.

One: Book Affinity

I am a strong believer in affinity. Looking back at a conversation, I can see affinity has come once again. On February 18, 2003, I suddenly received a phone call. ‘Dr. Ma, do you still remember me? I am Lisa.’ From the sound of voice, I could tell it was someone who knew me well, but I really couldn’t think of which Lisa it was, maybe because it is such a common name. ‘What? You can’t recall? Do you still remember that several years ago I regularly booked airplane tickets for you?’ Now, I thought of who it was. Four to five years ago, a woman named Lisa, with the charming Chinese name, Mei Liping, opened a travel agency in San Francisco called Leisure Travel. On my first visit to her office, I saw a young woman, both attractive and lively, who to my amazement was multitasking, using her calculator while answering a phone call, running back and forth and taking care of 3 children. She booked my travels very responsibly, making excellent accommodations, and I quickly became a regular customer. I even introduced some of my friends to her and all of them greatly appreciated her efforts and constantly praised her good work. Later on, I went to Los Angeles and our contact ended. When I returned to the San Francisco Bay Area, I looked up Leisure Travel only to find out that she no longer worked there and it seemed from that point on that I wouldn’t see her again.

‘Dr. Ma, I am now working at the Jin Shan Shi Bao newspaper doing some design work.’ We then set a time to meet and Lisa wasted no time getting to the main point. ‘I recommend that the Jin Shin Shi Bao start a medical page. These last few days I have been looking over Xing Dao Ri Bao and Shi Jie Ri Bao, and I happened to see a posting that you offer free lectures on cancer prevention and health. Right away, I realized that the newspaper invisibly connected me to the hand of a friend. Take a look at the Jin Shan Shi Bao, Lisa said, passing over a copy of the newspaper.’ It was a standard, multi-colored large newspaper, the earliest published Chinese newspaper in the western United States, established in 1924, [ at the time this book is being published, this newspaper already belongs to the Hong Kong Xing Dao newspaper industry group, one of the major Chinese newspapers in the world]. A page on medicine would begin publication on March 1. ‘All along my impression of you has been very deep. You are a paragon of a classic scholar. When I saw news of your lectures, I immediately thought that our newspaper should invite you to introduce an understanding of Chinese medicine fighting cancer. Coincidentally, I was talking about this with a manager at the newspaper who had just seen the program, Words crossing over the Horizon, on channel 26 with a special report interviewing you, and your eloquence had made a deep impact. As a result, we quickly joined together and came up with a plan to invite you to be the leader of the medicine column.’ As soon as I heard this, I thought it was a good idea and I responded: ‘ No problem, I can write an essay for you.’ ‘One essay?’, Lisa asked. I said, ‘ Actually, one essay isn’t enough to explain many questions, so if the newspaper can put aside valuable column space, then I can write several essays.’ Lisa bent over laughing. I thought it was strange: ‘What is so funny?’ She stopped laughing and said: ‘ We are hoping that you will start your own column’. I could see that she meant it sincerely, and I followed with: ‘In that case, I can write an essay a week.’ She laughed again: ‘Could you write an essay a day?’ For a moment I didn’t dare answer. I privately thought, one essay a day? Every day there are so many patients, I am beyond the point of exhaustion, how could I find the time to write essays? However, Lisa’s vision presented me with a sudden challenge, my heart felt jolted and enticed. I responded by asking for one day to think about it before making a decision.

That night I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Finally, I got up and went out for a stroll. The whole way down the road I was thinking: Up until now I have written so many books but they were written for medical professionals. These last few years I have been thinking about accumulating the essence of health protection, cancer prevention and anti-cancer knowledge from several thousand years of Chinese medical science and blending it into one unified whole. I hoped to write a book that is suitable for the laymen to read, one that is simple and easy to understand. It seemed that the opportunity was now before me. But as I thought it over in mind again, my whole day was busily occupied, where would I have time to write an essay? But if I didn’t write it now, when would I have time to write it? If the opportunity and pressure was not there, might I delay for another 5 years, or maybe even 10 years? As I returned to the house, I made my decision: without pressure people don’t move forward, and since the newspaper is providing an opportunity, I should write it as soon as possible. This will allow a great number of cancer patients to obtain correct and practical information about Chinese medicine’s anti-cancer knowledge and methods. The layman will then be able to grasp these concepts quickly. At this moment, loud and clear, the title of the book jumped into my mind: ‘A Second Chance: Approaching Cancer Through Chinese Medicine’

Two: Human Affinity

I started writing. Right away, I discovered that special columnist writers don’t have an easy job. According to plan, each chapter of ‘A Second Chance: Approaching Cancer Through Chinese Medicine’ was divided into two publications in the newspaper. Writing one essay a day meant continuous publication for approximately 200 days. I needed to write a 1000 character essay a day in order to be sure a draft would be ready for the newspaper office. In the process of writing, sometimes I only used my head to think things over, and based on accumulated knowledge from the past, I could type it directly into the computer. In general, this process took about one hour. However, there were times when I needed to consult textual research and this slowed me down, oftentimes taking between 2-3 hours. At times, connecting from one topic to another posed difficulties. One might think a thousand characters would be easy to write, but on the contrary, it could take up to 4 to 5 hours, sometimes stretching even longer. Unexpectedly, I was able to persevere for over half a year. During that time, after treating my patients with acupuncture needles, I utilized the time they were resting to quickly write several lines of draft. I also wrote during evenings and weekends, basically squeezing in writing time whenever I could. Moreover, I also had another very critical piece of work, arranging the second meeting of the Worldwide Chinese Medicine Oncology Conference. The story of Lisa continues from the beginning of this conference.

One day, Lisa came to my workplace at All Care Chinese Medical Center. She said that she had read my published series, and it contained many important principles. I then asked her, what kind of books she usually read. Her answer surprised me. She said she liked to read medical books, especially those on Chinese medicine. I said; ‘You don’t practice medicine, and have the looks of an actress, how is it that you have an interest in medicine?’

She answered that not only was she interested in medicine, but she also had many doctor friends. For example, she had recently introduced one of my articles to two of her western oncologist friends, and they were very impressed by it, hoping that my book would soon be published and that an English edition would come out so that they could read it on their own.

I knew that Lisa had come to the U.S. when she was a young child. She went all the way through primary, middle and high school here and because she came from Canton, she was able to speak Cantonese. In addition, her Mandarin was first rate, she liked medicine and surprisingly she had many doctor friends. Therefore, I thought it would be appropriate for her to help participate in organizing the Second Worldwide Chinese Medicine Oncology Conference.

Then I indirectly hinted at the idea and to my surprise she immediately agreed. She said this was a worthy cause and as long as it had to do with cancer patients and academic research on oncology, she’d be happy to help. I explained that the organization of our America’s Chinese Medicine Anti-Cancer Conference was a non-profit. She said with delight, if profit was the motive, she wouldn’t be interested. In this way, Lisa became the assistant secretary to America’s Chinese Medicine Anti-Cancer Conference.

At that time, the entire world was impacted by the SARS outbreak, and many international activities had been canceled. Originally, our conference was to be held June 28 and 29, 2003. As we considered the possible inconvenience for specialists to travel internationally or domestically, we hesitated for a while but in the end still decided to hold the conference. However at this time, we were only 3 months away from conference time and so work preparation was under intense pressure.

We were planning on sending out publication of ‘America’s Chinese Medicine Anti-Cancer Conference Dispatch’, calling upon all Chinese, and western doctor specialists and anyone who had an interest in cancer prevention and fighting cancer to join in. This news dispatch was the crystallization of Lisa’s painstaking effort. She wanted to translate the Chinese version into English, and also did the typing, type setting and proof-reading. I discovered that not only was her English up to standard, but her Chinese level was also excellent. Her contribution came through when I and my colleagues were determining word choices for the conference, and after a long, thoughtful process, we tried to find words which articulated the critical nature of preventing and fighting cancer in Chinese medicine, as well as its high level of importance and prospects. We looked at many phrase options none of which seemed appropriate until finally Lisa came up with a suggestion to use ‘Traditional Chinese Medicine Using Science to Oppose Cancer’. [ This phrase has now been condensed as ‘Scientific Chinese Medicine in Fighting Cancer’]. Up to the present, this phrase is still the theme of America’s Chinese Medicine Cancer Society as well as the theme of this book.

Final printing of ‘ Chinese Medicine to Prevent Cancer in the U.S. News Dispatch’, took practically 2 days and 2 nights of hurried efforts. Lisa had practically become a full time staff member, to the point of working more even more diligently than the other workers. She drove an hour in the morning from San Francisco to quickly arrange the Silicon Valley office preparation for the big conference and didn’t drive back home until after midnight. Colleagues offered to have her stay overnight but she had to rush back to take her children to school the next morning.

The news dispatch was finally finished and to be sent in for printing the next day. In order to save time, the printing company required that it be sent by 9 am. That evening Lisa said that with the draft finally done, and the hectic pace of the last few days, she would take off the next day to get a good rest. After she left the office, in the process of going over the manuscript, I inadvertently realized that there was a blank line in the set type, and it seemed there was some spacing layout inaccuracies. Nevertheless, the content was unaffected, so I still planned on sending it to the printer the next day.

The next day at 8 am., I went to the office and to my surprise found Lisa there typing! She told me that after she got home last night, she looked over the material before going to bed and discovered the typesetting problem. In addition, she spotted a wrong character, so this morning bright and early, she came in. I felt embarrassed that she had come all the way to the office for this small problem in light of her fatigue. She answered me saying, ‘For me, this is not a small matter! If everyone knew that it was my doing, that would indeed be a loss of face. In getting a job done, I seek perfection’. At that time, I noticed that her face color was somewhat ashen white and emitted a slightly green blue hue. From the standpoint of Chinese medicine, this is a phenomenon resulting from body vacuity and internal stagnation. I then asked her how her health was in general, and she said that there hadn’t been any problems. I advised her to take off some time to get a physical examination, emphasizing that finding health problems early meant they could be solved. She told me not to worry, that she guaranteed her good health.

Lisa was a very responsible person. Others saw that I had this capable person working side by side with me and all were very envious. They said that I was most fortunate to have her emerge at a critical juncture, someone whose Chinese and English was on a high level, who also knew Cantonese, who was full of youth, vitality, and willing to help doing volunteer work. One of my students said:

‘Because of the good work that Teacher Ma does, he is destined to have human affinity.’

Three: Heavenly Affinity

From sponsoring the United States World Traditional Medical Science Academy as well as undertaking organization of the United States Chinese Medicine Cancer Prevention Conference, the Second Worldwide Chinese Medicine Oncology Conference held at the San Francisco Bay Area’s Stanford University Bechtel International Center, Lisa was one of the people managing the conference. That day she wore a long purple Chinese dress, wrapped in a light purple scarf, appearing especially elegant, youthful and vibrant. Many representatives at the conference commented that Lisa’s management of the conference was enthusiastic and outstanding.

During the conference, I gave a talk on the fight against cancer using Chinese medicine, and it was warmly received by the audience. At intermission, I proudly told Lisa that it seemed the talk had gone quite smoothly. Lisa confirmed that this was in fact the case. However, she also said: ‘If you don’t mind, I have a suggestion.’ I told her that of course I welcomed her opinion. She straightforwardly told me: ‘While you lectured, you picked your nose multiple times. This makes people watching feel uncomfortable and is not fitting behavior for a scholar of your stature. Do you think you can change this bad habit?’ From that time on, I stopped picking my nose. Later on, I attended another medical theory conference where a senior doctor gave an excellent lecture, however I noticed that now and then he also had the habit of picking his nose, a habit truly inconsistent with good taste. I reflected that in the many lectures I have given in the past, I certainly must have picked my nose many times, and thinking back on it truly makes me blush with shame. Luckily, Lisa spoke to me bluntly and corrected this flaw. After it was corrected, there was an unexpected benefit. My allergic nose now had reduced symptoms.

At that time, Lisa clearly looked exhausted, her face color had turned even more ashen white with a green-blue hue and I advised her to take a good rest for a while and also to get a physical examination. She became very animated, and lifting both hands up, she exerted all her strength waving back and forth saying: ‘Take a look at how sturdy Lisa is!’

For a while after the conference ended, there was no way to make contact with Lisa either by home phone or mobile phone. I thought she might be busy taking her real estate license exam and was probably busy working on her new profession.

Over two months passed before I unexpectedly received a phone call from her. She told me that because she was ill, she had been hospitalized. Initially, it seemed that her hospital stay would be short and she would soon be discharged, but unexpectedly, she had been there over a month. I quickly inquired about the nature of the illness. She said not to worry, that it was not serious, that her surgery was completed and she would be discharged in the next two days.

Two days later, there was no word from her so I called her phone. She informed me that additional surgery might be needed but that it wasn’t anything worrisome and that she should be discharged from the hospital shortly thereafter. At that time, I felt an inauspicious premonition well up in my heart.

It was a day in September when Lisa called. Her voice sounded very faint: ‘Dr, Ma could come see you for treatment of my illness?’ I responded that of course she was welcome. I now had grave doubts about the condition of Lisa’s illness. She expressed her desire for privacy, so I made special arrangements for her to come for treatment on Sunday mornings.

The day I diagnosed Lisa it was a cloudy, gloomy day. I got to the clinic just a few minutes before her did and was already immersed in the writing of my book draft. “Dr. Ma, do you still remember me?’ Hearing her voice I quickly lifted my head to see her and was startled to see her face exceptionally ashen white, practically devoid of face color. Her right nostril was dripping with blood. Being a professional, I immediately concealed my reaction. With a broad smile I said: ‘Of course I recognize you, still as lovely as before!’ Sitting down in the examining room, Lisa began: ‘Do you know what illness I have come here to see you about?’’ I forced a smile and said: ‘Of course, I am a leading Chinese medicine cancer specialist, this you know. However, I always hoped that you wouldn’t come see me for cancer.’ In a completely relaxed manner Lisa responded: ‘I am a cancer patient. In the past, you asked me why I was able to maintain such an interest in your book and your anti-cancer cause. At that time, I answered vaguely by saying that maybe sometime in the future you would know the answer. Now you know’.

Out of respect for Lisa, I will keep the details of her illness confidential, so the remaining part of the story will not refer to concrete specifics.

It wasn’t until then that I found out she had been stricken with cancer three years previously and had gone through a major surgery. After surgery, the doctor wanted to arrange for her to have chemotherapy, but she adamantly refused. I broke into the conversation asking for a reason why. Her answer was totally unexpected: ‘There is no way that I would do chemotherapy. My lustrous hair would all be gone as soon as I started chemotherapy. Even though I know that it grows back, for sure the quality would not be the same. I’d rather die and maintain my beauty.’

Lisa continued by saying that after surgery she decided to select Chinese medical treatment and regulate her body on her own. Consequently, she recovered very well. Over these past 3 years, she almost forgot about her illness which receded into the back of her mind, and began to throw herself into her work with great vigor.

‘You know, that time during which I was involved in the travel agency, it was because of this illness. Afterwards, I opened a Chinese herb shop so that it would be convenient for me to research Chinese medicine’, Lisa explained.

‘However’, I said skeptically, ‘Since you helped me with so much work, why didn’t you tell me earlier so that I could have helped you regulate your body?’ I paused for a moment and then said, ‘ If I had known your situation, I certainly wouldn’t have allowed you to work so exhaustively, putting in so many overtime hours.’

‘Think about it,’ Lisa said laughing proudly, ‘You asked and answered your own question. If you knew I was a cancer patient, would you have let me work the way a healthy person would’? Lisa then said, ‘Actually, 3 years ago, the doctor told me I probably wouldn’t live more than 3 months. But Chinese medicine has helped me live these last 3 years. So, I think that Chinese herbal medicine is extremely worthwhile for research in the fight against cancer, and should be popularized. This is what motivated me to come help you’. After a short pause, Lisa’s voice once again became faint: ‘I had a premonition that sooner or later my illness would come back. I thought to myself that as long as I am able to help cancer patients in some way, I will exert all my effort to do so. I am hoping that Chinese medicine can be successful in preventing cancer, then there will no longer be such a large number of cancer patients.’ Lisa then calmly said: ‘But I really hadn’t thought that my illness would come back so quickly. The doctor said that I might only have 2 more weeks to live.’

I was determined to use all of my knowledge and wisdom to help her. I told her not to be afraid of the bitterness of the herbal soup, and to maintain her doses. In addition, she must nourish her spirit, conserve energy and must not exhaust herself physically or mentally. Some of my patients remembered her and had a good impression of her. As soon as they heard of her illness, they prayed for her hoping that God would bless and protect her and bring about a quick recovery.

As expected, her situation dramatically improved. In a month’s time, her face color turned rosy red, and her spirit was uplifted. The hospital report also brought heartening news. The main cancer target threatening her life was already under control. Lisa disliked the bitterness of the herbal soup and said she could not continue drinking it. I then began regulating with Chinese proprietary medicine accompanied by moxibustion therapy. During that period, the condition of her illness appeared stable.

Another month passed, and one morning I received a call from Lisa that she was back in the hospital. I quickly went to see her. She still looked full of spirit but there was sadness in her voice: ‘I’m truly sorry that I didn’t listen to what you and the other doctors said. Two weeks ago, I thought everything was fine and couldn’t resist the urge to go back to work. Later on, I felt unbearable exhaustion as well as pain. The hospital doctor said that my illness had returned and had become more serious. Wasn’t it just recently that things were under control? Why has this happened so fast?’ I quickly consoled her saying the cancer at this stage can have unexpected changes at any time, with fatigue being only one possible predisposing cause.

As the illness flared up this time, she was completely unable to eat. I used Chinese herbs concentrated into a boiled decoction and passed them through a nose tube. At the same time, I used the moxibustion method, trying to help her every way I could. Remarkably, her life was extended for a period of time.

In the blink of an eye, Christmas was approaching. In the evening, everywhere Christmas lights lit and adorned all the streets and alleys. At dusk that evening, the beauty of the scene was intoxicating, spurring on daydreams of a renewed life. I had plans to go back to Beijing with my family for the holidays to visit relatives. I also set aside some time to finalize ‘A Second Chance: Approaching Cancer Through Chinese Medicine’. Before leaving, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to Lisa. That day, she already looked very weak with pain which frequently tormented her, yet her eyes were still as bright as before, glistening just like the Christmas lights outside the window. Holding my hand, she squeezed tightly. She encouraged me to return to Beijing and quickly revise and publish the final draft of ‘A Second Chance: Approaching Cancer Through Chinese Medicine,’ since many newspaper readers were waiting to read it. Full of hope, she said she wanted to be the first reader of my book. She awaited my return after Christmas and the new year. We even made a tentative date to invite friends to come together for a Chinese New Year party. It was on that day that I met her mother for the first time.

I will never forget the expression on Lisa’s mother’s face at that moment. She sat quietly at Lisa’s bedside, her eyes transfixed on her daughter. I stayed for about one hour and all throughout my visit her posture on the chair remained unchanged, and she had the same poignant expression in her eyes. Her eyes glimmered with kindness, softness and gentleness, trying her utmost to cover up the unbearable sorrow. It was a sight that could only come from a mother seeing her daughter’s life hanging by a thread.

Early in the morning of December 18, 2003, I received a call from Lisa’s older brother telling me that at 9:00 on the evening of the 17th, Lisa had passed away. Young Lisa, who was so full of life! Everyone who saw her thought she was at most 25 years old. Actually, she was already 35 and left behind 3 young children. In a split second, she was gone.

The next day, Lisa’s brother told me that he didn’t know about her cancer until the time that I knew. Lisa’s mother found out several days before she died. Before she left this world, Lisa’s children thought their mom had an ordinary illness, and that she would soon be coming home from the hospital.

I’ve been engaged in doing medicine for over 30 years and I’ve encountered and heard untold number of moving stories about cancer patients. Lisa’s story happened right next to me, she was the closest to me, a person who possessed such literary flair. Her passing shook me up to my core.

Not long after Lisa passed on, a famous Hong Kong singing star, Mei Yanfang, also died of cancer. Both she and Lisa, whose Chinese name was Mei Liping, shared the same surname, so I unconsciously associated the two of them together. According to newspaper reports, Mei Yanfang was a kind and caring person, who showed deep personal loyalty to her many friends. In order to realize her hope of having children in the future, she steadfastly refused to have a hysterectomy. Honoring her commitment to a performance contract, she bore her illness and gave 8 or 9 outstanding performances in Hong Kong, Japan and other locations. In the end, over exhaustion caused her illness to quickly become more serious and incurable. During her lifetime, she had repeatedly supported the cancer fighting cause.

Mei Liping chose to maintain her beauty rather than go through chemotherapy. She had undergone many surgeries, and yet she successfully hid them from almost everyone who was closest to her, so as to keep family and friends from feeling anxious or worried. She liked making friends and people easily took a liking to her. Yet when her own body was burdened with a serious illness, she earnestly and selflessly helped the cause of fighting cancer.

Although Mei Yanfang and Mei Liping were two completely different people, yet in their relationships with other people they have many striking similarities. How unfortunate that both of them had to leave this world so young. Two young women who fought a relentless battle against the specter of cancer, and who longed for a normal life like everyone else.

It was through their actions that they rallied the call for cancer patients not to be passive and sit by waiting to die, but to bravely stand tall with chest held high and steadfastly declare war on cancer. Certainly, there are many people like this, all attempting to use their lives from different perspectives, seeking a way to fight back. They create many miracles and these miracles aid in medical research and offer encouragement to a multitude of cancer patients to continue to create even more miracles.

‘The moon has darkness and brightness, waxing and waning.

Human life has sadness, happiness, separating and connecting.

These things even the ancients had difficulty making whole.

Man yearns to keep living on,

A thousand miles, together sharing this moonlight.’

Reciting this ancient poem in a low voice brings a sense of desolation and solemnity. Past times are fleeting like mist, yet our thoughts connect us like threads. Lisa, you are worthy of our respect, we cherish your memory, and feel deep sorrow, lamenting your loss.

I have deep sense of guilt, guilt that my medical skills couldn’t come close to saving Lisa’s life. I have a deep sense of self reproach, self reproach because I allowed her to work overtime, adding many hours in doing her work. I have deep regret, regret that I have no way to realize her wish to have her be the first reader of this book. I have made a solemn oath, an oath to publish this book as quickly as possible, making it a best seller throughout the whole world, an oath that for the rest of my life, I will certainly achieve a breakthrough in the cause of fighting cancer through Chinese medicine.

I believe that this is my inspiration from Lisa. I believe that she has already changed into an angel and will contentedly smile with the publication of this book.

Jeffrey Mah

First draft finished late night, Beijing, January 1, 2004

Final draft finished late night, San Francisco, January 3, 2004